The secret project this week comes from a very special contributor. I really had to nag her to get her project done, but I’m really happy she contributed, otherwise there would be no secret project this week. Everyone else seems too busy! I’m in the middle of finals- I have two papers to write, two presentations to prepare, and we have house guests arriving tomorrow. It has been a busy week, and I am just so pleased that this week’s project was carefully compiled by someone who has a little more free time than I do.
Here we go!
How to Live the Good life
By Sofia-Lucia Spaghetti
Being a cat isn’t easy. I swear to you, I am exhausted all the time. Most humans just don’t appreciate the work that goes into being adorable and charming. I hardly have time to do this, but I thought I would humor Kate this week because she is acting a little tired, and because she is a good human, and gives me butt pats and lets me lick her computer sometimes, and she planted wheat grass for me out on the back porch. That Intern of hers has been moonlighting as my own personal Intern, as he gives me bites of his dinner, and even though he often tries to kiss my face, I put up with it, because I like to lick him in the middle of the night and wake him up. As for my project, I am here to teach you all on the internet (whatever that is) how to live the good life.
Step one:
Find a comfortable place to nap. This isn’t as easy as it seems. Sometimes this takes all day, and I have to keep looking for a new spot, especially when a human is following me around with a camera. Here are a few of my favorite napping places and positions:
Freshly fluffed pillows are a good morning nap spot.
Sometimes a patch of sun is all that is required for a good nap.
While the rocking chair doesn’t seem like an obvious napping spot for a cat, I like the risk. Things get a little precarious when Lucca tries to join me. Yes, we sometimes knock the rocking chair over. No, I do not like to be rocked by any human who thinks it might be soothing for me, but I will tolerate the rocking.
I like this rattan chair, I’m not sure about the blanket that appeared on top of me while napping.
Lucca thinks this is his scratching post, which makes this an ideal place for me to nap, while clinging to it, and preventing him from using it.
A carefully placed wine box is a generally a good nap-spot, but I will not share this with another cat who is always trying to get in to the box with me.
Sleeping on top of a purse or Kate’s school bag is really nice. It smells so good!
A too-small cardboard box in the sun is divine.
Step Two:
A balanced diet. Just because you are a cat doesn’t mean you shouldn’t indulge in the finer things in life. Feel free to taste what you want, even if it isn’t offered to you immediately.
Sometimes the trick is to wait patiently and silently until they feel sorry for you, and finally share the meal.
Sometimes you have to be more insistent at dinner time. Sit where you will be noticed.
Step Three:
The company you keep is very important. Be sure to surround yourself with the friends you want and need.
That is my stuffed gorilla. I take him everywhere with me at night, but I only do it when no one is watching me.
That is my cat Lucca. I didn’t want him at first. He is a pain. He is bigger than me, but he is really clumsy. He licks my fur in the wrong direction, and always wants to wrestle. He is a good snuggler, sometimes.
Do not make friends with humans who buy things like cat-sized Santa hats. Ignore them when they come over. Resist friendship at all costs.
Do make friends with the humans that have good smelling shoes. If they have good shoes, then chances are, they’ll also have a good purse to climb in.
Step Four:
Be charming and uncontrollably cute. Humans can’t resist this, and this will help you avoid getting yelled at, and no one will shoo you away. Humans will actually go out of their way to win your attention!
Hint: roll around on your back like an otter, they love that.
If they are ignoring you, try leaping into bed at night, and waking them up with licks and purrs. Stand on sensitive body parts. Refuse to lay down. If this doesn’t work, feel free to knock over a full glass of water, or cry loudly while running in and out of the room.
The End. Time for a nap.
Tags: How-to, secret project, sofia, tutorial
I loved this post! -Bri
This made my afternoon! Too cute!
Somebody is being ridiculous.
oh, you mean ridiculously cute? yeah, I hear you.
oh my goodness, can't resist this!
Oliver and I enjoyed this post A-LOT, he purred and I even caught myself laughing out loud. Butt pats to the kitties!